Ever make a promise and then wonder if it’s in your power to fulfil said promise?
Today I had to leave T on the bed while I answered a call of nature. I could hear him crying the whole time I was out of view. As soon as I went back into the room and he saw me, he smiled at me, tears rolling down his chubby little cheeks, eyelashes all wet. As I held him and he snuggled into my neck with little sniffs and whimpers, I told him that no matter where I went or how long I was away, I would ALWAYS come back to him. I hope I never have to break that promise through no fault of my own. I hope that whatever happens and wherever we are, I can always be there for him when he needs me.
Father & son
We have been together for 11 years now, married for the last 6 of those. As soon as we knew our relationship was serious we talked about the possibility of children in the future. I knew I wanted a family at some point, DH wasn’t so sure. He told me that it was my decision ultimately, but when I suggested it was time to start a family he was already thinking the same thing and was ready too. Today is the 1 year anniversary of when we knew for sure that a baby was propagating, and it has been an interesting journey. A woman becomes a mother as soon as she knows she is carrying a child. A man doesn’t become a father until he holds his child for the first time. Pregnancy was a difficult time for him, as I was able to hold and protect my unborn child, but all he could do was watch from a distance, concerned about me but unable to do anything to ease the burden.
He always had his doubts about whether he could be a good dad, but I know that when he puts his mind to something he does it well. The moment he held T for the first time he was a dad, whether he liked it or not. I’m pretty sure he liked it! There are fun times, amazing times as we watch T conquer a new skill, but there are also struggles. There always will be as this is a very steep learning curve, but the beauty of there being 2 of us is that when things get a bit overwhelming, the other parent can take over for a while.
Watching the two of them together makes my heart melt. The giggles, the squeals of pure joy, the times they fall asleep together… I think that all you can do to be a good parent is to be there, and to do your best. No-one is perfect, we will make mistakes, but we love T unconditionally, and that is all that matters in the end.
While attempting to eat my breakfast, consisting of soggy cornflakes and cold tea, I thought about starting up blogging again. I hope to make this a lighthearted account of the joys and struggles of being a new parent.
T is now 3 1/2 months old, and starting to get into everything. If he can get hold of it, it goes in his mouth. I have also, rather stupidly, taught him to blow raspberries. He can’t manage it with his tongue out yet, but he purses his lips, makes a rasping sound and spits everywhere. He did it all day yesterday and started as soon as he woke up this morning. It is still funny and cute, like when we went out in the car yesterday and I turned down the radio to listen to a contented, raspberry-blowing baby in the back seat. I have a feeling it won’t be funny and cute forever though.
So back to my breakfast. After carefully spooning mouthfuls of cornflakes and milk to my mouth from a bowl placed at arms length, over a contentedly nursing baby, dripping the odd spot of milk as I went, he finished his breakfast so I sat him on my knee and continued with my breakfast. I would pull the bowl towards me, spoon up a mouthful of limp cornflakes and transfer them to my mouth, while using the ‘spare’ hand (you never have a spare hand with a baby around!) to stop him grabbing my bowl. On this occasion he outsmarted me, tipping the bowl and it’s contents towards himself while merrily spitting in it. 1-0 to the tiny human, and it’s only 10am!
I have been very remiss in not posting for (I think) over a year. I do have a very good excuse! Last November DH and I became parents to a gorgeous little boy, T. Obviously with all the tiredness and busyness of pregnancy, and the complete upheaval of new parenthood, cooking consists of finding stuff from the freezer that I batch cooked last September and reheating. Although we do have our busts of brilliance, with DH making pies and myself managing a Battenburg cake yesterday, while entertaining a 3 month old. I’m proud of us, if I do say so myself.
Anyway, now that I feel we have reached a more even keel, and wanting to start blogging again, I thought I might take this blog in a new direction, as there is never a dull day around here! I hope you current readers will be happy to go along with this, and just maybe we’ll get some new readers. So here goes. Are you ready to be plunged into the chaos that is our log flume of parenthood? (And yes, it does get quite wet at times!)